Tired of Not Being Taken Seriously by Others? Ban These 3 Phrases From Your Vocabulary.
These small adjustments will make all the difference.
What would you think if I started my article with a sentence like this:
“Sorry to bother you with my article, it will only take you 5 minutes, I would just like to share some ideas with you if you don't mind.”
You'd think I'm not a person with good self-esteem. De facto, you'd move right on. And I would understand!
I'm talking about starting an article with this sentence, but some people might start a presentation that way in front of a crowd of people who would then decide to directly condemn the person before he or she is even spoken to.
So, whatever your message is, the way you convey it will make all the difference. To be taken seriously by others, whether in the private sphere or the professional world, I suggest that you permanently eliminate three phrases from your vocabulary.
1. “No worries.”
You have probably used this phrase in your daily life. You think it's harmless, but it's not at all. Let's take the example of a colleague who knocks over your pile of files on your desk. Instinctively, there's a good chance you'll respond, “No worries”.
I have to admit that this is not my case and that I would rather express my displeasure directly by asking the person to help me pick it up if they don't do it spontaneously. But I see many who react this way.
To use this expression is to minimize the other person's behavior, when in reality, deep down, you want to express your displeasure.
Another glaring example is when someone starts to get angry and raise their voice at you. Many people don't dare to fully express their disagreements and will then use the phrase: “No worries”. Here again, you are putting yourself down.
To be in control and not be subjected to it, you should rather use a sentence like: “What's the problem?” Or a simple “Okay” will do the trick without directly putting yourself down. Expressing your agreement would send a more neutral signal that won't diminish the importance of your time when your boss asks you to do an extra task, for example.
Other interesting formulations to grow on you might be, “Thanks for telling me” at the time someone apologizes. Or you can say: “I understand what you are telling me”. In short, phrases that will show others that you take responsibility for your positions and who you are.
2. “I think that ...”
When you are asked to express your opinion or suggest something, whether in your work or personal life, chances are you will start with: “I think that ...”.
Admit it, you've already done this at least once in the current month.
The problem with this formulation is that it shows your audience directly that you are not sure of yourself. You are not 100% sure of your claims. This might be justified if you are making assumptions, but when asked for your opinion, it is not a phrase to use.
It only lowers the importance of your opinions to others. You're giving the stick for the beating.
Let's say you're in the business world. You've had a good idea and you want to propose it. Nothing could be more logical. Unfortunately for you, you will start your presentation with: "I think this solution could be better...".
You are proving directly to others that your solution is dubious because you are not 100% confident in what you are proposing. To convince others, you must be 100% confident in what you are saying. Therefore, avoiding the phrase “I think that...” is an absolute necessity.
The right approach here is to start confidently presenting your idea. Be assertive. Finally, and only at the end of your presentation, you can add an opening for a possible discussion: “This is a hypothesis I believe in. If you want to add something, we can discuss it of course”.
You will notice that you have already convinced the others and that they will not even notice the end where you leave the opening. You will be taken directly more seriously by the others.
3. The word “Just”
The word “just” is added to every sentence by more and more people every day. When you submit an idea, you may have the natural reflex to add at the end: “It's just an idea”. This happens when you see that the person you are talking to does not respond right away, which will tend to stress you out and make you doubt.
When asking someone for help, you will tend to minimize the matter: “I just need a minute of your time”.
You are sending a disastrous message to other people's self-esteem. They will think that what you do is not important enough and that you doubt the value of your work. You are afraid of being annoying.
When you say to someone “I just want to ask you something”, you are saying the following: “What I want to ask you is not that important”. You will easily agree with me that the signal sent is negative. The excessive repetition of this expression harms you.
Since this expression has become part of our vocabulary, it will not be easy to get rid of it. However, if you do, you will stand out from the crowd.
To replace this phrase in the previous example, I suggest the following formulation: “I need you, it will take a few minutes”. Directly, the other person will understand that you need some help and that it is important. They will listen more and take you more seriously. This simple adjustment will make all the difference.
Final Thoughts
To be taken seriously by others, you must understand that your body attitude is important, but also the phrases you use. By banishing the 3 sentences I have presented from your vocabulary, you will go a step further.
Above all, you will stop giving the stick to be beaten by putting yourself down directly to others without even realizing it. Some people might take advantage of this apparent lack of confidence to your detriment. It is in your best interest to make these adjustments that will change the way others see you, both professionally and privately.
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