The Secret of a Tough Mindset Lies in These 12 Principles of Life

Mental toughness is not innate, it is built over time.

Jul 24, 2020

During difficult moments in my life, I have often heard people around me repeat the same thing to me: “Be mentally strong” or “You have to be mentally tough”. At the time, I already had the impression that these ready-made phrases were not of much help to me.

These kinds of sentences suggest that you can choose to be mentally strong overnight.

Yesterday you were mentally weak, and then today, thanks to this good advice from someone close to you, you will be able to chase away your nature to become mentally tough. No more problems, you are now mentally strong.

Of course, nothing in life is ever as simple as that. And so much the better!

All the important things in life take time and work. Having a strong mind is no exception to this fundamental rule. If you have the impression that you have always been on the side of the weak, i.e. those who let the difficult situations in their lives take over every time, I will, first of all, reassure you with this truth:

No one is born strong mentally.

Your mind is like a muscle that you will make stronger with practice. A strong mind is the result of years of practice. But beware, the practice must be oriented in the right direction.

To do this, I propose that you follow 12 fundamental principles of life that all mentally strong people embrace daily.

1. Past cannot be changed, you have to focus on the present

I come into contact quite frequently with people who express regrets about their past. When I talk to these people, they tell me that they regret certain actions from their past. It always ends with: “If I had known, I would have done that…”.

Unfortunately, the past cannot be changed. No matter how hard you dwell on it, your past will remain unchanged.

Those who complain about their past all the time will never be able to move forward in life. Rather than wasting your time with what cannot be changed, you should focus all your efforts on what you can still change.

I focus all my efforts on the present to try to build the future I dream of for myself and my family. I make mistakes, but I try to learn from them so that I can do better the next time.

The good news that will help you build a strong mind is given to you by Winston Churchill:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
— Winston Churchill

2. Never give up until you have reached your goals

The quote from Winston Churchill allows me to make a connection with the second principle of life that you must adopt. Nothing in life is easy. Things can be even more complicated if you try to innovate outside your comfort zone.

Yet you should never give up when faced with a problem or obstacle.

Until you reach your goals in life, you must keep moving forward. Perseverance is the key to achieving great things. This quality is found in all mentally strong people.

There is only one time in life when you can give up.

Faced with a problem, you may discover an even better opportunity to exploit. At that point, you will be able to change your path to that new opportunity.

As you can see, this is not a real giving up, but simply a smart decision to maximize your chances of success.

3. Turn your weaknesses into strengths

Having weaknesses in life is a normal thing. Everybody has weaknesses. Those who will tell you otherwise are light years away from the level of self-awareness it takes to progress in life.

The hardest part is to recognize honestly your weaknesses.

I have to admit that it’s an extremely difficult thing to do. No matter how much I write this story and how much I am aware of it, I still fall into this trap from time to time.

You have to understand that if you don’t admit to yourself your weaknesses, you will never be able to take advantage of them. Because the goal is to take advantage of your weaknesses.

Once you put your finger on your weaknesses, you can turn them into strengths. If you can do that, your mental strength will be multiplied tenfold.

An example will help you understand the effect this can have on you. When he was young, Warren Buffett had a phobic fear of public speaking. This fear was an incredible weakness.

Warren Buffett became aware of his weakness and decided to take action to turn it into a strength. He paid $100 for a Dale Carnegie public speaking course. After overcoming his fear, Warren Buffett felt stronger mentally than ever.

He went on to become one of the best investors of all time. Warren Buffett always said that investing in himself when he was young was the best investment he ever made.

Turning his weakness into strength has made all its subsequent successes possible.

4. Embrace change

The world is constantly changing. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to have to evolve too to keep up with it. This is true no matter what field you want to succeed in.

In the face of change, you have only one choice:

Embrace it as soon as possible to benefit before others do.

If you wait too long, you will have to evolve by force, and you will be at a disadvantage over others. In effect, you will suffer change. This is the worst thing in life. By consciously embracing change, you will be able to get the most out of it.

It will allow you to be among those who survive the longest, as Charles Darwin pointed out:

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”
— Charles Darwin

By managing change in the best possible way, you will be among those who will be most successful.

5. See failure as an opportunity

I don’t know about you, but I hate failure. I think it’s ingrained in all of us. Nobody likes failure. However, people who are mentally strong know-how failure can benefit them.

That’s what you’re going to have to work on.

I see failure as an opportunity to adapt to improve so that I can do better the next time. Failure should be seen as an ally, not an enemy.

You’ve probably already heard of Thomas Edison who was a great inventor of the 19th and 20th centuries. Thomas Edison’s inventions changed the course of our history since he invented the incandescent lamp and the phonograph.

To come up with these extraordinary inventions, Thomas Edison had to build up a tough mindset.

Indeed, Thomas Edison failed thousands of times in his attempts. This was never a problem for him because he had the right mindset about failure:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
— Thomas Edison

All those who have been very successful in history have always looked upon failure positively. Failure allows you to discover one more thing that doesn’t work.

By adapting after each failure, you move closer to success.

6. Time is your most valuable asset, use it wisely

Many people make wealth a top priority in their lives. These people are mistaken in thinking that money can buy everything. In reality, your most precious possession in life is not money.

Your most precious asset is time.

Your time on Earth is limited. Everything can stop at any moment. So you must use your time as a scarce resource that can run out at any time.

Don’t commit to doing things you don’t want to do just to please other people. Live your life to the fullest because time flies.

7. Be your biggest fan, not your worst judge

I am one of those who believe that to achieve great things, you must first think you are capable of it. If you are not able to visualize yourself conquering the Moon, you will probably never succeed.

The best way to achieve your goals is to become your biggest fan.

You need to be your number one fan, not your worst judge. People will already enjoy judging you constantly. Don’t join their camp by judging yourself even more harshly than they do with you.

You have the right to make mistakes just like everybody else.

The secret is to see the positive in all situations to stay motivated. By working on this point day after day, you will build up a strong mind that nothing will be able to shake.

8. Be kind

The image of you that you send back to others is the image they will send back to you. If your attitude is only selfish, others will send this image of you right back to you. And I doubt that this will help you become mentally strong.

Being kind to others in a gratuitous way will only bring you good in life.

Others will send you back a positive image of yourself that will help you to build up a strong mind every day. Being nice for no reason will bring you much more than that in life.

Good things happen naturally to kind people. Try it, and you will soon see that this principle will make an incredible difference in your life.

9. Don’t fight the wrong opponent in life

I am always fascinated when people tell me that their goal in life is to be better than so-and-so. These people have no other goal than to be better than other people. That is a terrible thing to say, but I find it rather disappointing.

Comparing yourself to others in this way is an insult to yourself, to use Bill Gates’ phrase:

“Don’t compare yourself with anyone else. If you do that, you are insulting yourself.”

You can’t stay motivated throughout your life by aiming to do better than others. People who think of life in this way are wrong.

In life, your real opponent is yourself!

As incredible as it may seem, you must aim to become a better version of yourself day after day for a very specific goal: to achieve YOUR goals.

I’m not talking about doing better than John or Joe, I’m talking about achieving what you want to achieve for yourself. To get there, you will first need to step back and define what your real goals in life are. That’s the key, and everyone has to go through that.

10. Work hard no matter what

Success will never happen to you if you don’t work hard every day. The myth of overnight success exists, but only for those who build it for years before it happens.

Working hard is not enough, of course, since you have to combine this with intelligent work.

Nevertheless, I think you have understood my point: everything starts with hard work. By working hard day after day no matter what happens, you will enter into a virtuous circle that will only strengthen your mind.

Being reassured every day about your working abilities will play an incredibly positive role in your mind.

However, be careful not to fall into the trap of those who confuse working hard with just being busy. Be productive when you work so that you don’t waste your time just to reassure yourself by being busy.

11. Stay a student of life

I spoke to you earlier about the need to embrace change in life. To be able to do this, you will have to couple this with the principle of remaining a student of life.

Your actual knowledge will be worthless in 5 years.

You must constantly seek to learn more. You have to read a lot to always stay up to date. We are in the age of knowledge.

It is your knowledge that will make the difference in your life.

Those who understand this have a competitive advantage over the rest of the world. Now it’s up to you to seize the day.

Constantly learning new things that you will seek to put into practice will make you feel that you are always progressing, which will strengthen your mind.

12. Meditate to connect your body and mind

I have long underestimated the power of meditation. Then one day, after reading articles explaining that meditation was a practice that was too often underestimated, I decided to take action.

At first, I had no idea how to meditate. I was afraid that I was doing it wrong.

After some research, I read an article explaining that there is no such thing as good or bad meditation. I have to admit that it made me feel more relaxed and more comfortable in my practice.

The important thing with meditation is to spend the time necessary to relax.

By practicing regularly, your meditation sessions will be more and more profitable for you. You will be surprised to have the feeling of reconnection between your mind and body.

This well-being through meditation will help you to build a strong mind to face all the challenges of life.

Conclusion

There’s nothing innate about having a tough mindset. It’s not something that can be decreed overnight. If you want to be mentally strong, you will have to work on it constantly by applying the 12 principles of life that I have just presented to you.

Over time, you will progress, and you will notice changes in the way you react to difficult situations in life. After a while, you will even be surprised to find that it is others who will ask you how you can be so mentally strong.

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