The Four Things That Should Never Control Your Life
Avoid wasting your time on things that are not essential.
I have always been a stressed person. For as long as I can remember in my life, I have always let certain things take control of my life. For a long time, I had a hard time not dwelling on my past mistakes and failures.
Money has been a goal for me for a long time. I am obviously not the only one in this case, since a great majority of people who enter the workforce have the goal of earning a lot of money.
Wanting to make a lot of money is not necessarily a bad thing. The problem arises when you make it your only goal. That’s the best way to fail at making a lot of money.
In my twenties, I think I put too much emphasis on what other people thought of me and my plans. I probably left out a few personal projects to avoid displeasing those I thought were my friends at the time.
As I slowly but surely approach my forties, I realize how far I have come in the past years. After fifteen years in the workforce, I have made progress in some areas, and I obviously still have a long way to go to reach my personal goals.
Nevertheless, I can share my modest experience with you so that you will absolutely avoid making the mistake of letting the four things I am about to detail control your life.
If you realize this now and make the daily effort to not let these things control your mind, you will be able to make much faster progress towards your goals.
Past
Going back in time to remember certain experiences is not necessarily a bad thing. That’s what I’m doing with this story. I went back into my past to find things that I did and that I should have avoided doing.
My goal here is to analyze my mistakes to adapt myself and do better.
Unfortunately, I see a lot of people who look back on their past and are nostalgic. These people are nostalgic about their previous successes. They also regret certain choices.
These regrets lead to the famous “What if I had done that…”. Then things go quickly, and you’ll mope around for hours.
This time is wasted unnecessarily because there is a universal truth about the past as the British writer C.S. Lewis so well pointed out:
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
— C.S. Lewis
You can think about your past for hours and days, but you can’t change it. The only thing you can do is focus on your present. Use your past to adapt your actions in the present to build the future of your dreams.
Money
At 20 years old, you want to succeed and earn a lot of money. I was one of those young people who look with envy at the luxurious lifestyles of millionaires and billionaires.
When you see such a display of luxury, you want to have your share of the cake. You dream of having a big house by the sea, and a big sports car.
You’re right in front of the illusion that money can buy happiness. This is the illusion that 99% of people fall into one day or another. It prevents them from living fulfilling lives.
As Maslow’s hierarchy of needs teaches us, once your basic needs are met, you will always find new needs to invent. If you don’t take a step back to understand the things that really matter in life, you will go on an endless quest to make more money.
The money will become your goal, and you will never be happy because you will always feel that you don’t have enough money.
Moreover, money cannot buy what is really valuable in life, as explained by the billionaire businessman Richard DeVos:
“Money cannot buy peace of mind. It cannot heal ruptured relationships, or build meaning into a life that has none.”
— Richard DeVos
My true quest in life is to be happy by living a fulfilling life. Earning more and more money means nothing if it does not serve any purpose to make me happy.
Instead of going in search of more and more money, take the time to look for what drives you and makes you happy. And keep in mind that this will evolve as your life progresses.
People
When I was younger, I valued the opinions of my family and friends. Before starting a project that was important to me, I used to talk to them to get their opinion. By doing this, I gave up on several projects that were important to me.
I made the mistake of not following my own path so as not to disappoint or shock others. This mistake leads you to have huge regrets about your past. This brings us back to the first point I mentioned earlier.
Napoleon Hill is one of my favorite authors on personal development. I have read several of his books. And then one day, I read this sentence in one of his books:
“The number one reason people fail in life is because they listen to their friends, family, and neighbors.”
— Napoleon Hill
This sentence was a real shock for me. I realized that for too long I had been giving too much importance to what others thought of my projects.
Since that day, I try to follow my own path. If a goal I set for myself doesn’t work for others, that’s their problem, not mine. If the people around me are not able to accept my goals, it may be time to think about separating myself from those people.
It’s never easy to separate yourself from some friends, but sometimes it’s a necessary evil to lead the life you want.
Failures and Mistakes
Nobody likes to fail. No matter how old you are, you will never like making mistakes. However, as you move forward in life, you will open your eyes to what failure and mistakes really mean.
Some people mistakenly think that failing is a humiliating thing.
People who think this way will never achieve great things in their lives. They will never take any risks for fear of failure. They will never try to get out of their comfort zone.
Yet the comfort zone must be your enemy if you want to achieve great things. When you step back, you will understand the deeper meaning of this Winston Churchill quote:
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
— Winston Churchill
Nothing is final in life. Whether you’re at the bottom or the top, you’ll have to keep going.
When you are at the bottom, it is the perfect time to learn from your failure. You will adapt so that you can do better the next time. I look at all my failures as a progression towards my future success.
With this philosophy, I am no longer afraid to try bold things that push me out of my comfort zone. By being persistent, I know that I will achieve my goals sooner or later.
The only uncertainty is when. That’s what makes life so magical.
Final Thoughts
Like everyone else, I make mistakes and fail frequently. However, unlike many people I meet, I always try to learn from them to progress. I will never be perfect, but by constantly trying to improve myself, I expect to achieve my goals in my lifetime.
To do this, I look to the future, and I consider money as a means and not as an end. I also try to surround myself only with positive people who are in this mindset of perpetual improvement.
By not letting your past, money, people, and failures control your life, you will gain valuable time that you can use to reach your goals in life more quickly.
Some reading:
Wanting To Get Rich? Look at Where Change Is Happening, Then Embrace It Before Others Do - Jeff Bezos’ story is very inspiring for this.
You Don’t Need a Bitcoin Exit Strategy, Because Bitcoin Is Your Exit Strategy From the Current System - Few understand this.
Feeling Overwhelmed by Stress? Try These Techniques Used by Elon Musk and Other Top Entrepreneurs - Make stress your greatest ally.
10 Cognitive Biases You Should Avoid To Live a Happier Life - Take control of your mind.
Follow Your Passion To Succeed Is the Worst Ever Advice - The story of Jeff Bezos is there to prove it.
Perfectly said! Such good advice for those just starting out. I love your articles on Bitcoin and life in general. Thank you ☺️