Here’s How Steve Jobs and Elon Musk Made Silence Their Secret Weapon To Appear Confident
You absolutely must develop your mastery of this technique.
Silence is often perceived negatively. For many, it is a sign of discomfort in a conversation. So, when someone asks you a question, you will feel compelled to have a quick answer to give. The longer it takes you to answer, the more likely you are to lose your composure and feel uncomfortable.
This is how many people say things that are untrue and short-sighted when they feel helpless in the face of a question. Their goal is to end the silence as quickly as possible.
This is especially strong when you are in a conversation with strangers. This phenomenon is fueled by the habit we have of reacting everywhere in real-time on the Internet and social networks. When calmness occurs, it seems unusual to us. This calm will tend to send us back to our own emotions that we otherwise willingly put aside.
The quieter it gets, the more you'll start to think, and you're probably afraid to realize that this question makes you uncomfortable, or that you just don't know how to answer it. There is no shame in admitting it, but no one likes to admit their weaknesses.
Steve Jobs shows us that silence can be a weapon when you know how to use it wisely
In our society, we mistakenly consider it a sign of self-confidence to have a quick and sharp answer to an unpleasant or critical question. However, this is not the attitude followed by multi-billionaire entrepreneurs like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, or in the past Steve Jobs.
If you observe their behavior during an interview, you will see that these entrepreneurs use silence as a secret weapon to take the time to formulate better answers.
Steve Jobs is a good example. At a 1997 Apple developer conference, an attendee wanted to drag Steve Jobs into the uncomfortable territory by criticizing him for having no idea what he was talking about. In addition, the attendee wanted to know what Steve Jobs had done in the past years. To put this in context: after an internal power struggle, Jobs had left the company more than ten years ago and had returned to Apple not long before.
Faced with this provocative question, which was intended to make him uncomfortable, Steve Jobs adopted a two-step strategy. First, he made a little joke, sat down, took a sip of water, and thought silently and long. Then he finally gave a thoughtful and intelligent answer in which he even partially agreed with the questioner.
The video of this sequence with Steve Jobs is worth its weight in gold:
Elon Musk is also a master of silence when faced with a difficult question
CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, Elon Musk is also a master at using silence to his advantage. During interviews, Musk never hesitates to take long pauses to answer a question. This is all the more remarkable given that Musk is not known for being patient, but rather for making things happen quickly. On Twitter, for example, he doesn't hesitate to take potshots at people who prevent him from moving forward with his projects.
But in this type of situation, Elon Musk forces his hurried nature to take advantage of the situation.
Check out this video from Air Force Pitch Day starting at 20 minutes:
Elon Musk is asked what cultural aspects need to be taken into account when transforming a startup into a larger company, both for him and his management team as well as for all his employees. Elon Musk then remains silent.
He changes his sitting position, exhales loudly, stares into space, seems to freeze. This lasts about 15 seconds, a pause that for some would be very difficult to maintain. Then he finally answers, calmly and thoughtfully.
Elon Musk was able to use the silence to his advantage here to give a better-chosen answer.
You must develop your mastery of awkward silence to appear more confident
This technique used in the past by Steve Jobs, and now by Elon Musk, has a name: “rule of awkward silence”. Pausing to think has many positive aspects, including providing better answers after thinking and refocusing.
In the Steve Jobs video, you can see that using silence has even more benefits. Steve Jobs could have reacted to the unpleasant question by getting angry. He was severely attacked after all. Instead, the silence allowed Jobs to contain his emotions and respond factually. These pauses in speech allow for a greater sense of calm and therefore appear more professional.
As with all techniques, you'll need to practice maintaining this kind of silence in conversations. If you are having trouble mastering the art of silence, a good way to start is to introduce it with a phrase like this: “I need to think for a moment before I respond”. Everyone will then know that a short pause will follow and you won't feel awkward during your pause.
Finally, keep in mind that you don't have to extend the silence to 15 or 20 seconds, as Elon Musk likes to do. A five-second pause can be more than enough because remember that these seconds can seem very long to your interlocutor if he is not used to this practice. Nevertheless, the positive effect will quickly be felt once you have made the art of silence your secret weapon.
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