Here Is the Correct Psychological Approach to Doing What You Need To Do Even if You Don’t Want To
This approach may surprise you in a world where everyone pushes you to fight against yourself no matter what.
Achieving your goals in life requires first and foremost being able to do the things you need to do, even when you don't feel like doing them. It also means not giving in to instant gratification to pursue higher goals.
The famous Stanford Marshmallow experiment has demonstrated this in the past. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, this is a study on delayed gratification conducted in 1972 by psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University.
In this study, a child was given a choice: either he accepted an immediate reward, or he would get two rewards if he was able to wait for a certain time. During this time, the researchers left the room for 15 minutes before returning.
The reward was a marshmallow or a pretzel stick, depending on the child's preference.
The results of this study, which lasted for years, showed that children who were able to wait for a larger reward did better overall in life. Knowing how to wait for something bigger is therefore an essential quality to develop in life.
However, by putting off gratification, you will need to find a way to stay motivated to do what you need to do to achieve your big goals. In the Stanford Marshmallow experiment, only children's patience was involved. In your life, you will need to have the patience to achieve great success, but it won't be enough.
You will need to add a strong will to do what you need to do to get ahead, even when you don't feel like it. This is where I think a very specific psychological approach is needed.
You have to act on what you feel, even if it means making a surprising choice in a world where everyone is pushing you forward at all costs
Many people will punish themselves if they don't do what they need to do. If you're that type of person, you know what I'm talking about. You're going to be hard on yourself, and blame yourself. Guilt will take over and you will put yourself down and tell yourself that you will never get it done. This strategy will not work in the long run.
Indeed, to achieve great things in life, it is in your best interest to be your greatest ally rather than your greatest enemy.
Once you understand that you need to encourage yourself rather than judge yourself negatively, you will first have to ask yourself if the task you are so reluctant to do is something you want to do. After all, maybe this task will lead you to a goal that is no longer something you want to achieve.
If you are having such a hard time doing this task, it may be because of this problem.
After honestly answering this question, you will give up on this task if it is no longer part of what should lead you to the achievement of your goals. If this task is part of the path you are going to take no matter what, you will already have a first reason to keep moving in that direction. But rather than fighting your resistance, I invite you to find a way to encourage yourself to do this task.
Put the odds in your favor by choosing the best way to accomplish it, but also by giving yourself a positive incentive to complete it. If this is not enough, understand the stakes: the achievement of your goals may be delayed. This is a risk to keep in mind. You can accept this, and put off this task until later.
After all, there is no point in fighting yourself forever. You will come back one day to that task you were supposed to do, and if the time comes for you to do it, then you will see that things will go in the right direction. Because at the end of the day, we all have to overcome certain obstacles to get to the next level. You will be no exception.
The key here is to understand that there are times when you are ready for it. Times when you'll be ready to do it without even hesitating or questioning, while at other times, you won't be ready yet, and will drag your feet. It's up to you to accept it and wait for the right moment.